Category: Self-Care

A Powerful Story of Anxiety and Overcoming Obstacles

I’m incredibly honored to have my friend, Cat from Frugal Living and Crafting, share her story of dealing with anxiety as my monthly Inspire the Best You feature! Her story of dealing with anxiety and still doing her best to live life the way she chooses is so inspiring to me. I hope you find something in her story that resonates with you as well!

My name is Cat.  I’m 36 years old, and happily married to my husband, Jeff.  We’re the proud parents of a cat and dog, but none of the two legged sorts of kids.  I’m a free-lance writer, and  I also blog at Frugal Living and Crafting.  

I was originally diagnosed with anxiety when I was 5 years old.  I had almost constant nausea, and often had a very difficult time keeping food down.  Trips to multiple doctors gave no answers to why I was so sick, and being afraid of doctors, it only made the situation worse.  It took an ordinary family doctor to figure out that my “illness” was the physical manifestation of anxiety.  I was hospitalized, and given ways to deal with my anxiety when it struck.

Nighttime was one of the most common times for my anxiety to flare up.  Often, when I tried to stay the night with friends, I would end up calling my dad at midnight to come pick me up.  I felt less anxious when I was at home with my normal routine, and knowing my dad was usually awake most of the night.  Many times, I was so thankful to come home that my anxiety abated almost entirely, but equally as many times I would spend the rest of the night ill from it.

I went on to be an anxious teenager, still having most of my trouble at night.  My parents were very strict about my grades in school, and when I knew I had not done well on something, I would often literally worry myself sick about it.  Sometimes I ended up tearfully confessing that I had gotten a bad grade, long before report cards came out, just to get it off my chest.  I typically got grounded anyway, but they were usually less angry if I had warned them first.

Two major events in my life occurred when I was 16.  I started dating the man I would marry in 4 years, and spend the rest of life with.  And my father left my mother and me and moved across the country.  My anxiety was sometimes off the charts because I was so used to having my dad around, especially at night.  But Jeff was my rock, and we often chatted to the wee hours of the night to help me get through them the night.

I muddled through life with my anxiety always in tow.  It was the reason I dropped out of college.  After leaving school, I got a job and still, I muddled through.  About 10 years ago, my anxiety took a turn for the worse and I was having a tough time doing anything.  I was also diagnosed with bipolar disorder at the same time, and suffering with the symptoms of that as well.  I spent a week in a mental hospital while doctors tried to find medications that would work for me.  In the end, I couldn’t control the anxiety enough to function and I became disabled and had to leave my job.

Living by the rules of my anxiety has been my life since then.  Often, I’m too anxious to leave home, or too anxious to leave home alone.  I worry about everything.  The nights, however, are still the worst by far.  Some nights my anxiety affects me so badly that I feel like I can’t breathe, and end up shaking and sobbing in my bed.  Sometimes getting up and reading helps, other times I can’t focus on the words.  The biggest balm for my soul is having Jeff at home, but he works nights so I am often left to fight my demons alone.

By now I’ve learned a few tricks to head off a panic attack.  Focusing on a deep breath, letting my belly expand as I breathe in, helps.  Simply getting out of my own head and doing some writing or reading a book can also be helpful.  These things are only helpful if I catch it before it reaches the state of a full blown panic attack.  Once that has happened, there’s nothing to do but wait it out and try to recover as best I can afterward.

These days I just take things one day at a time.  If anyone reading this suffers from anxiety, know you are not alone.  It’s a difficult road to travel, but sometimes reaching out to someone, just to talk, can help ease your misery.  If you don’t know who to talk to, feel free to reach out to me at frugallivingandcrafting@gmail.com .  I’m a pretty great listener.

My thanks to Bonnie for allowing me to share my story, and I hope perhaps it helps people understand what it’s like to deal with anxiety, and perhaps abate the loneliness for someone who also fights the battle.  

How to Change Your Perception of Yourself

Mirror, mirror, on the wall…

What is it that you see in the mirror each morning? Do you see the beauty that is within you? Do you see all that you have to offer yourself, others, the world? Believe me, you have plenty to offer.

I see your reflection, you’re unsure and maybe even scared to follow your dreams… to believe that you are truly beautiful, inside and out. However, I ask you to trust me. Trust me when I say that you are beautiful.

You have valuable and helpful things to offer to others. You do them every day. To you they might seem small, but they are big to those watching from the outside. Try looking at yourself as others might see you. See your actions how others would see them.

Mirror, mirror, on the wall…

How does one change the perception of themselves?

  • First of all, when you look in the mirror, push out all negative thoughts. Anytime a negative thought about yourself enters your mind, cast it aside and replace it with something positive. What physical features do you like about yourself…? Your hair, your smile, your eyes, your body shape, anything at all!
  • Look at all you do for others, your family and friends or even total strangers. You have so much to offer others. Some things you do on a daily basis can be considered valuable and beautiful!
  • Approach the mirror mentally prepared… ready to search for all the beautiful things about yourself. Start with something you already know you like about your appearance. Then let your mind naturally wander to another thing you like about your appearance. Going in with a blank mind ready for positivity will allow you to think of all those things that are good instead of automatically focusing on things that you don’t like so much.
  • Even without the mirror, you can spend a few minutes a day thinking about all you accomplished recently, and all the good works you do on a daily basis. This doesn’t make you conceited. Boosting your self-esteem actually makes you more efficient and productive. You can be more helpful to others if you believe yourself to be just that.
  • Every time you take a peek in the mirror, allow yourself to be proud and happy with your appearance and all you have accomplished outside of what the mirror can tell you. Mirrors don’t tell the whole story, obviously. They can only show you what you can physically see at any one given moment. What about all of those other moments accumulated throughout the day that happen that are positive?

So what do you think of your reflection…? Physical reflection, the reflection of yourself that you see in others, and the reflection in your mind based on your thoughts of yourself. It is a process in itself to change these thought processes to be more positive and not put yourself down every time you think of it. It takes hard work and consistent practice, but you are very much capable of that!

So often we think of ourselves as failures just because we don’t accomplish everything we set out to accomplish or everything we “need” to do in a day. We are so much more than that! We need to focus on all of the things we do accomplish, all we do for ourselves and others that is good.

Tell me a bit about you and what you want to accomplish this week. Are you going to be kinder to yourself if you don’t accomplish everything? Are you going to try to alter your mental reflection of yourself?

 

~Bonnie~

10 Acts of Self-Love to Set You Up for Success

If you haven’t noticed already, I am very passionate about self-love. It has so much to do with our all around health, physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. Why…? Because how we show ourselves love has a huge impact on how we take care of our bodies and minds, how we deal with our emotions, and how worthy we feel to receive help and guidance from God.

I want you to take a moment and ask yourself how you treat yourself and your body on a daily basis.

Now ask yourself if you can improve on the way you treat yourself and your body.

 

Here’s a not so big secret… everyone can stand to improve on how they treat themselves and their bodies. None of us are perfect and we all have certain struggles. So, I wanted to compile a short list of self-love acts that can set you up for success in your healthy living journey:

1. Read your favorite book, or even one you have been putting off for a while.

I am a bookworm, but even as a bookworm, I often don’t have the time or patience to read. So, when I need some chill time, I try to pick up a book and read… even if it’s only a few pages. Reading is often relaxing and is also very beneficial to your mental wellbeing.

2. Get up and dance!

Dancing is so freeing and fun, so this one is a big act of self-love that all of us should take part in more often! Put on your favorite music, or any music that makes you feel like dancing, and dance! Bonus points for singing along with the song while you dance.

3. Color in an adult coloring book, or even a kids’ coloring book.

Coloring is relaxing, and meditative. If you don’t have a coloring book in the house, go pick one or two up at the store, along with your favorite coloring tools. I personally like to use skinny markers for coloring and I really enjoy the adult coloring books with plants, flowers, and words. Once you get started, you will likely find that you get so deep into the coloring that you forget all else!

4. Go to the park!

Parks and playgrounds can really be a good, positive place to be, especially when the weather is nice. Take advantage of the sunshine, take a walk at the park, admire the trees and animals, and just recharge. Sometimes even playing on the playground like you are a kid again can be really fun and rejuvenating!

5. Take a break, get in a nap when you need it.

Always take a break when you need a break. Go outside or get away from whatever situation is stressing or overwhelming you, and take a breather. If you are tired and need a quick nap to get through the rest of your day, do it if you can! I’m a huge fan of naps myself, and they really help me feel better so that I can accomplish more.

6. Play with your pets.

Playing or cuddling with your pets is another great way to show yourself love. They give you unconditional love, some giggles, and can be a distraction from stressful situations. Plus, they need that interaction as much as you do!

7. Cook yourself your favorite meal.

Even if your favorite meal isn’t necessarily a healthy one, cooking yourself your favorite meal once in a while can be a great boost and is exciting too. Treating yourself occasionally is not a bad thing and you should be able to enjoy your favorite foods on special occasions. What better special occasion than pampering yourself?

8. Write in a journal.

Writing in your journal is therapeutic, and it helps you work through anything that is bothering you. I know I don’t write in mine quite as often as I would like, but when I do, it is super helpful!

9. Watch funny videos or a funny show.

When you watch funny videos online or a sitcom, you may just find yourself laughing uncontrollably… and laughing is good for the soul! I have experienced this on multiple occasions, where I laugh my head off and then I feel better afterwards because it helps me release those negative feelings.

10. Binge watch Netflix!

Yeah, sitting around for hours on end, watching shows on Netflix isn’t necessarily healthy. However, one day, once in a while, can really be awesome and fun. Make up your favorite healthy snacks to chomp on while you watch your favorite shows or movies, and spend the time recharging, either on your own or with loved ones.

Self-love is so important to practice on a daily basis, to show your body and mind that you find them important and will continue to take care of them. I am starting a FREE program on Facebook on May 6th, called the 7-Day Self-Love for Summer in my group Inspire Your Best Life! Be sure to join the group before Sunday, I would love to have you!

How do you show yourself love each day? Is it something you make time for every day, or just when you feel you need it?

 

~Bonnie~

15 Simple Ways to Set Aside Time for Yourself

This time of year is rife with stress as school ends for you or your kiddos and summer craziness is about to start, and we all need to take the time to treat ourselves right. It helps us be our best the rest of the time, as well as to enjoy summer and hopefully some nice vacations down the road!

Simple Ways to Set Aside Time for Yourself

  1. Whenever possible, take your time in the shower. Hot showers are especially relaxing and soothing. It may be one of life’s necessities but the shower itself can give you time to think through things that are bothering you, hopefully without interruption.
  2. Take a walk. If you can, take a walk by yourself to just think and revel in the beauty around you. If you take a walk with a friend, talking can be therapeutic too. Sometimes we need or want to take the children in our lives on a walk too. It’s still a good way to set aside time for yourself. Take advantage of the quiet moments while also striking a balance with teaching them. I find it relaxing to just point out things and talk to my nephews while walking. Sometimes it’s not relaxing when they ask the same question five times in a row but it’s still usually fun.
  3. Workout. Just in general, spend time getting your workout. Put yourself first for the time being and get that workout in. You can release frustrations, uncertainties, and even celebrate life’s victories. Plus you get the added benefit of knowing you’re doing something wonderful for your body which gives you some peace of mind.
  4. Write in a journal or notebook. Take the time to write out how you feel, discuss your day, figure things out, or even make plans. I find writing out my day and discussing how I feel is so beneficial!
  5. Cuddle with your favorite person/pet. The time spent cuddling your children or other loved ones, or simply cuddling with or petting your dog or cat can be good for your mental wellbeing.
  6. Sit and breathe. Quiet your mind, maybe even close your eyes. If you believe in God, talk to Him. Either way, take time to reflect on your day and all of your blessings, all of the positives in your life. It truly sets the tone for the rest of the day. I’ve been trying to do this more often myself and know I feel better about life just relying on God and reflecting on any good things in my life.
  7. Do something for someone else. You may ask, how is doing something for someone else setting aside time for me? I’ll tell you… doing something for someone else makes them feel good, which in turn makes you feel good to help them. I love helping others and do so not to get something in return, but it still makes me feel good to do so!
  8. Go shopping for something fun! This is hard for some of us, as money is tight or we may face temptation to spend to much… but if you can, a little retail therapy can go a long way. Even stopping in the Dollar Tree or somewhere else that has low price items and browsing the aisles to pick out a few things can boost your sense of wellbeing.
  9. Read (books, magazines, articles, etc.). Read something that you enjoy! Getting lost in a story or something pleasant can be such a nice way to put yourself first because it’s FUN!
  10. Self-care: Hair, skin, nails, etc. Spend some time on self-care. It makes you feel refreshed and ready to take on the world when you have certain self-care things in order! Take a manicure or a pedicure (or both), having nice nails is so rewarding!
  11. Haircut/coloring. Going to get your hair cut or get a color can be a mostly relaxing experience. My last haircut, I got a quiet beautician and I just let myself go, zoning out and just being. It was so enjoyable. I never experienced something like that. You could also find joy in having a conversation with the beautician as well! Either way is nice!
  12. Organizing or cleaning. Such a weird, but therapeutic thing to do once you get into it. Organizing is fun because you’re getting things in order, cleaning is fun because after you’re done, something is clean! Sure it’s a pain to do sometimes but the results are refreshing!
  13. Writing out cards or notes/letters to loved ones. Writing out your thoughts and making loved ones feel cherished and valued is time well spent! You will feel better when it’s done because a lot of us go through our days without much opportunity to say how we feel some of the time. So setting aside some time to do that will lighten your heart!
  14. Art. If you like to draw or paint, that is another way to set aside time for yourself. Lose yourself in your work and make something beautiful.
  15. Sit down to enjoy a sweet treat you really want. Life is too short not to enjoy something you really want once in a while. Treat yourself. Just make sure you enjoy it so it’s worth it!

These are some of my favorite ways to set aside time for myself. Those things really give me a sense of peace, or accomplishment, or both. Sometimes it’s hard to get started on the organizing and cleaning one, but once I do it is such a rewarding experience. I also am not a big on drawing or painting anymore but from time to time it is fun!

I hope you all liked my list. What are your favorite ways to set aside time for yourself? It could be simple like most of these or it could be something more elaborate. I’d love to hear what you do! We could all use ways to improve our sense of wellbeing!

 

~Bonnie~

Failure is Life Giving You Lemons

One of the most common causes of failure is the habit of quitting when one is overtaken by temporary defeat.

-Napoleon Hill

Failure, what a strong word. We all have a fear of failure on some level. Some of us push past it or do our best to overcome it. Then there’s the actual dealing with it part that can be difficult to handle.

The truth is that we will deal with failure on some level, on a regular basis when we are actively living as it is just another part of life. So how do we deal with it? As a tool we can use it to our advantage and as a lesson we can learn from it. We will be better for this new experience. We adjust, changing our method in order to try again. We can even approach it from a new angle altogether. If it’s important to us to succeed, we will do anything we can to make it happen.

Failure is simply an opportunity to begin again. This time, more intelligently.

-Henry Ford

Ford’s words are so accurate. With the knowledge we acquired from our “failure,” we can continue on in a better frame of mind and we also have more chance of success.

We can choose to let failure debilitate us or we can keep trying until we’re successful. It may be true that some times we may genuinely choose to let go of whatever dream or goal we were striving for because it just doesn’t suit us like we thought it did. However, if it means anything to us, we will find a way!

It’s when the discomfort strikes that one realizes a strong mind is the most powerful weapon of all.

-Christie Wellington

We can use this never give up approach in our weight loss and healthy lifestyle journeys as well. It is vital for us not to give up. Sometimes we may need a break but we should never let go of striving for a healthier us. So when we fail, we should view it as something that will actually help propel us forward in our quest.

None of us are afraid to admit it, weight loss is hard and we are afraid we might not succeed! It’s natural to take the hit of failure and want to curl up in a ball and never move again. It’s truly debilitating in its own right. We can’t let those feelings win. Grieve for that plan that just couldn’t work out, but then move on and use that knowledge to help you move forward. Your health is too important to let go of.

 

~Bonnie~

My Struggle with Self-Love & Confidence… To Publishing My First E-book

I am very honored to have Alisha Overstreet from The Improv Caregiver here to share her story about struggling with self-love and confidence, and then going on to write her first eBook. Alisha is the Inspire the Best You feature winner for April… and also one of my most inspiring friends! I’m so happy to know her and learn more about her today! I hope you find her story inspiring for your own battle with self-love and confidence, as so many of us struggle with that, including myself!

For as long as I can remember, writing has come quite naturally to me. My father is a published author, has written countless poems, and has always encouraged us to channel our emotions and experiences through writing. Whether it was gifting my sister and I a journal, or encouraging us to be creative with our words and foster our language skills; he has always the one to boost our morale.

I’m not a speaker! Period!

I don’t do well speaking in front of large groups…in fact, I don’t do well speaking in front of a small group. Actually, let me be absolutely clear: I don’t even like to have in person debates with family or friends. The very people I should feel the most comfortable with, still don’t make me feel confident enough to discuss complex ideas and theories I know by heart!

But I write! And I write well. I’m not Agatha Christie, Danielle Steele, or J.K. Rowling, but I enjoy writing.

I can concoct a 20-page research paper in my Psychology class including factual information and clear presentation without an issue. I can write post on my blog about caregiving, being married to a veteran and the struggles of motherhood with a special needs child all day long. Give me a reason to talk about mental health stigma, politics, or psychology and I could go on for days.

But…don’t force me to present any of this in front of people!

As a caregiver, I have struggled a lot with self-esteem and confidence. The isolation that comes with this role can be devastating. It is no wonder many of us end up dealing with our own struggles and fighting our own demons.

For years, I fought with my perfectionist doppelgänger; and I still do. She’s always been able to knock me down when I felt the slightest bit of success. She has always been able to find the tiniest of flaws in any of my successes. Overall, she’s been quite victorious in knocking me down many, many times. No matter how many times I get pushed down or fall, I only have to get up one more time.

I might have fallen 50 times, but I pushed myself one time to get back up. And right now, I’m on my first time getting up after my 50th fall. Over the last two years, I’ve spent money we don’t have, started on an academic path that doesn’t seem to fit my personality or current lifestyle, and I have fought my way through grief after a miscarriage. My doppelgänger took advantage of it and knocked me so hard on my behind that I almost gave up on getting back up.

But I figured: I only have to get up ONE time!

So, I did. I am standing tall and I am writing.

Everything my father has taught and encouraged me to do is starting to come full circle. My grief, fight and strength has evolved into this new-found love for what I am capable of. This does not mean that I have achieved complete serenity in terms of loving myself, nor am I at a point in my life that would warrant me to slow down. I simply have a better understanding of what my limitations are.

I am now encouraged to share my struggles, fights, self-esteem issues and grief more than ever before and use this to create positive channels that will not only help me in my personal growth journey, but also touch others who share similar experiences. With this, I have set a goal to publish my first e-book this year. It will be a milestone; a kind of coming full-circle experience for me.

And I hope I will continue to be granted the opportunity to write, share experiences, and connect with individuals around me. As it stands, my doppelgänger is losing the current fight; which would put the score at Perfectionist Doppelgänger: 50 / Me: 1.

Not too shabby!

Alisha from The Improv Caregiver
I’m a caregiver and advocate for my combat-veteran husband & son with High-functioning Autism/ADHD. I share the realities of life as a family caregiver and tips & tricks I’ve learned over the last few years in my role as caregiver. I’d be delighted to have you join me.

Blog: www.theimprovcaregiver.com
You can also find her on: Instagram | Pinterest | Facebook

10 Ways to De-Stress When Life Gets Crazy

What I feel is most important is loving ourselves and taking care of ourselves when life gets crazy. I’m not sure about you, but this time of year is proving to be a little bit crazy and busy, this month especially is full of events and deadlines!

One of our biggest downfalls as human beings is stressing out. We’re constantly bombarded by anything and everything, we have mountains and mountains of work not to mention our home life to juggle, or we simply feel overwhelmed about life in general.

Here are some things you can do pretty much anywhere or anytime to de-stress when life is causing you to feel overwhelmed for whatever reason:

  1. Write. Journal, blog, or jot a few notes down on a piece of paper to work through what you’re feeling. It’s quick and it helps a ton. Not only are you organizing your thoughts, but writing and rereading what you wrote can help you discover new things or come to realizations you wouldn’t have otherwise.
  2. Read. Grab your favorite book or any good book and start reading it. It could be a novel, a self-help book, a real life story, anything that you find pleasing. Reading is relaxing because it gets you out of your own mind and into another world. While you’re taking a mental vacation between the pages, your mind can process other thoughts and feelings, which in turn helps you work through your feelings and calm down.
  3. Listen to music. This one can be a given to a lot of us, but even though I love music, sometimes I can forget that it’s such a stress reliever. Pump up your favorite tunes, turn on your favorite radio station, or watch music videos. Sing along and even dance along, let those tunes carry you away!
  4. Take a walk or workout. Taking a walk in the fresh air or getting a workout in can allow you to work through your thoughts and feelings as well. You can take out your frustration or disappointment and work super hard in your workout. Going for a walk is great too as it’s another way to get outside of your head while still allowing your mind to work through things.
  5. Call a friend. Do you have a buddy you like to talk to when you need to just get it all out? Call, email, or message them. A true friend will always be there for you, as a listening ear or to give you advice if you want it (or sometimes when you don’t want it). Talking through things allows you to hear things from another perspective, out loud as well as through feedback from your friend.
  6. Color. Coloring isn’t just for kids anymore. Grab or print a coloring page and something to color with and start coloring. It is really therapeutic. It allows you to zone out and do something with both your mind and hands that is constructive. Your pictures do not even have to be pretty for this to work. If you think this is something for you, I would also encourage you to go to the store and pick out a kids or adult coloring book and coloring utensils that make you excited to color: colored pencils, markers, crayons, colored pens, anything works!
  7. Housework/organize. Work on cleaning, organizing, or decluttering your house, yard, or car. Making everything clean and fresh is remarkably refreshing to your mind as well!
  8. Pamper yourself. Go see a movie on your own or with a friend/loved one, get your hair cut or colored, get your nails done, go to the library to spend some quiet time, visit a museum, spend some time in nature, or just do anything that makes you feel pampered and relaxed. It doesn’t have to cost an arm and a leg. Just give it some thought and pick something that works for you.
  9. Play. Play with your kids or pets, or those of friends/family members. It will help release the inner kid in you and help you feel more carefree and alive! Trust me, it is fun! Be silly and throw yourself into it!
  10. Hot shower/bath. Water therapy. Take a nice relaxing bath if you can, or a hot shower. If you have access to a pool or hot tub, those can be amazingly relaxing as well. Whatever floats your boat!

My personal favorites are walking, writing, and reading. If I’m really antsy or anxious, putting myself to work picking up the house or organizing things helps me too. It gives me something to do physically that betters my world in some way! I also love to pamper myself whenever I get the chance to.

What is your favorite way to de-stress when you feel overwhelmed?

 

~Bonnie~

How to Strive for Everyday Self-Awareness

I am pleased to announce that Prince Akwarandu from Ewritepreneur is sharing his expertise on personal development, specifically how to strive for everyday self-awareness.

Can you imagine a photographer shooting pictures without taking the time to focus? What deer hunter would stand on top of a hill and shoot randomly at the valley without taking aim at something? Our personal lifestyle resonates in same direction. If we don’t exercise the urge to succeed and move far from poverty we may not be successful.

While I was writing my first ever published book I had an encounter with ‘laziness syndrome’ which I almost fell off the chain for. At a point I stopped meeting up my writing goals and breaking the nuts I had set out myself to allow me write well and fast. The burden got heavy on me and then I recognized I will pose to my readers as an irresponsible writer if I refuse to deliver and at the right time.

Why I tell the story above? I will like to push you toward the real reason why you should be aware anytime, any day not minding the circumstance involved to stand for yourself and your dear future. Your future should be very dear to you because whatever you can’t deal with now will come after your future and it will defeat your ignorance and refusal to act when due. By then you will be doomed of failure running up, down, right and left with no definite solute. If you take the right steps, the urge to be self-aware will live presently in your moment of existence.

Allow me hold you by the hand and let you into the world of self-awareness.

In the world of self-awareness we have no room for excuse. So, get ready for none.

Do You Need To Develop Self Awareness?

How well do you know yourself? How deep is your understanding about your emotions?

It is no lie that as you develop self-awareness you may be able to make certain changes in your mind. It comes naturally to us as humans so I won’t blame you for any mess. One thing is sure here – If you can be able to change the interpretations of different issues to a positive one in your mindset you can influence your emotion. Answering to this great call will help you to get what you want and need to step up your game. Success is more than the money you invest in different businesses expecting double or triple returns as profits.

Here is the reason: If your emotions cannot capture money your hands won’t touch it.

Below I share with us the four basic factors responsible for our everyday drive toward being self-aware.

1. Breaking Limitation Pattern

No matter the challenges you are facing now, self-awareness remains the first step in creating a ‘debut single’ of your life. Limiting patterns has been the organic factor denying young people of their beautiful destinies. The word Limitation is a critical word which from study I could say was conjured up from the two great perspectives rising from ‘limit’ down to ‘action’. Self-awareness can be an expression of one’s feeling concerning a particular matter in a particular way to achieve an aim or series of it. For your self-awareness to last and allow you achieve your purpose in life, you must be cognizance of self-limiting patterns. This kind of pattern is one which stands to deter your day-to- day decisions about the events that take place in your life. Don’t allow it instead stay steady and strong.

2. Shopping Lives’ Happiness

Self-awareness is a guide to everyone’s happiness in life. This allows you be in control of how the mind affects your happiness. The gifting of self-awareness can’t be over emphasized because of its ability to allow you perceive other people, to know people’s thoughts about you – your attitudes and how they perceive you. This carefully explains how we may respond to people’s actions as we break the limiting patterns that try to confide us. If you forfeit the moment of your emotions and behavior you may have a big problem in positioning yourself for maximum success. With the practice to shop lives’ happiness we can learn to engage and see new opportunities to expand our capacities.

3. Practicing Focus While Living

When we talk about focus, it isn’t learnt only when you read a book and feel like a super hero. No, it is far from that. When you read a book, you focus mostly on the ideas embedded in that very book. The development of self-awareness is gotten through practices in directing your actions and beliefs to how it affects your personal lifestyle. Think of learning as a situation where you are to train your voice as a singer. When learning to sing you pay attention to tones and pitches to know when you should stretch your voice a little bit higher and lower as the case may be. You think of how to move your tongues and lips to meet the right bit in the right time frame. Singing isn’t leaned from books and self-awareness isn’t either. A singer needs awareness on their tongue movements and good body relaxation to meet up the needed standard.

4. Rule Over Your Emotions

Emotion takes a larger share to what contributes to our awareness. Without including the word ‘emotion’ explaining self-awareness will remain incomplete. Emotions are the very first vital ingredient that triggers and builds up our thoughts. Our reaction toward a particular action is displayed depending on the level of emotions we exist in at that particular time. If you can control the tea spoon and give it option of when to enter your mouth or no, you can rule over your emotions. This is to say, making changes in your life is much easier to do when you catch them early. If you’ve persevered to read up till here, probably you have understood the power of self-image and how we can make good decisions.

Wrapping it up

The key to greater confidence and assertiveness in your life is self-awareness. You can stop reacting to events and emotions and learn to choose your response to any situation. You can stop reacting to events and emotions and learn to choose your response to any situation. For this reason, spend some time recognizing areas you need to develop and intentionally making an effort to develop or strengthen that aspect of yourself.

Author Bio: Prince Akwarandu is a Content Creator and Brand Story Teller at Ewritepreneur. He help purpose driven writers grow their writing talent without compromising their price, purpose and promise. He believes in personal development, Nation Building, regional collaboration and global participation.

You can connect to him on: Twitter | LinkedIn | Google+

 

Dealing with Depression and Anxiety at the Same Time

Disclaimer: This post may contain affiliate links.

For those of us who deal with both depression and anxiety on a daily basis, it can be hard for us but even harder to describe it to other people. These two things often feed off of each other, or one contributes to the other, but they are also total opposites. I know that I personally feel conflicted, or even frozen with overwhelm on an almost daily basis. It is hard to take action or make decisions when your mind is at war with itself. On the one hand, depression makes me feel sad, unmotivated, uninspired, and hopeless. On the other, anxiety makes me feel scared, overwhelmed, stressed, and frantic or panicky. Both depression and anxiety are things that I have dealt with most of my life, at least since I was a teenager when I first noticed them. It wasn’t until much later that I realized what they meant. To learn more about my story of learning what depression and anxiety mean to me, you can read my previous post on the subject: What Depression and Anxiety Mean to Me.

If you deal with either, or both, please check out Depression Proof, a course full of information and steps that you can take to minimize or overcome your depression. Ironically, even though they can be complete opposites, some of the things we do to treat our depression can work for our anxiety as well. Part of that is because they feed off of each other, like I mentioned above, but it’s also because both are mental issues that we deal with.

We worry about not living up to our own dreams.

Oftentimes, we are so overwhelmed and stressed out that we worry if we’ll ever be able to go after our own dreams and achieve a life we have so desperately wanted for as long as we can remember. We are so frozen in place, working to feel some kind of hope, motivation, and calmness that will allow us to do something productive with our lives. I spent many years in this endless cycle, just keeping to myself and not trying, because everything else was just too hard.

We worry about looking lazy to other people, while a battle rages on in our minds.

We see it, that others think we are lazy, unmotivated, and choosing to live like we do. However, they can’t possibly see the battle that is raging in our minds. Our depression and anxiety is silent, invisible from the outside. No one can understand what we go through in our own minds. Even those of us who are inflicted with both depression and anxiety don’t fully understand what one another go through. I know that I personally feel so stressed sometimes that I’m frozen in place by my own feelings of overwhelm, unable to break through that barrier and actually do what I need to do.

We worry about not being able to control our own actions.

Sometimes we can’t control our own actions. You might be wondering how that is even possible because if anyone has control over our own actions, it’s us. Right? Well, when we deal with depression and anxiety, we don’t have full control over our own actions. An anxiety attack can happen at any moment, and no matter how small that attack is, we might flail around or look like a deer caught in the headlights because we simply can’t function. Bigger anxiety attacks reduce our control even more. Fortunately, I’ve only dealt with anxiety attacks a few times. However, sometimes even when I am just feeling super anxious, I do not feel as if I have full control over my actions. I may make involuntary movements or say things I wouldn’t have otherwise, or I may yell when I normally don’t like to yell.

We feel too much, yet nothing at all, at the same time.

With anxiety, we feel way too much at once. We get overwhelmed and overstimulated. On the flip side, with depression, we don’t feel enough or anything at all. We are sunk into a pit of despair and hopelessness that we don’t know how to get out of. I have tactics that help me get out of my depression, but if I don’t notice how fast I’m slipping or how far I’ve slipped into depression, it is that much harder to work my way out of it. I liken the experience to digging myself out of quicksand. Each step in the right direction could be taken away by one misstep, and send me deeper into the pit, causing me to start all over again. Same with anxiety, I have ways to deal with it, to help me feel less anxious in some situations. However, both depression and anxiety can appear out of nowhere or become a problem without me realizing that they have appeared until it’s too late.

We may view sleeping as the only escape we have, if we can even sleep.

Sleep is the greatest escape we have, but sometimes we suffer from insomnia when we are dealing with depression or anxiety, or both. Then even if we do fall asleep, we may suffer from bad dreams or nightmares. When I’m feeling anxious, I deal most with having trouble falling asleep, having bad dreams, and just simply being very restless. Sleep should be restful and invigorating, but instead it can be a means of escape or a torturous experience, depending on the person and their experiences.

This is only a glimpse into what it is like to deal with both depression and anxiety. The point is these issues hit us all differently. Those who don’t battle with both depression and anxiety may never understand what we go through. That’s okay, but we can spread awareness and hope that more people begin to understand what these issues do to us and screw with our life.

If someone you know suffers from depression and anxiety, please let them know that they are not alone and that there is always help and hope for them! If you are the one who suffers from depression and anxiety, I want you to know this too. There are so many of us that deal with one or the other, or both. Please remember that you are not alone and there are always options to find help and improve.

Depression Proof is one of the best resources that you can have to help you with your depression, and maybe even your anxiety, because it will walk you through what you need to know and do to help yourself. You will learn more about what depression is, in general as well as what it means for you. You will learn ways to deal with your depression and how to put them into practice. It is important to take a peek at the course because you don’t have to suffer in silence!

 

 

 

 

~Bonnie~

 

How to Create a Life You Enjoy Living

This is my life… my story… my book. I will no longer let anyone else write it; nor will I apologize for the edits I make.

-Steve Maraboli

What is life if not worth living?

The truth is, you really can change your life to one that you enjoy living… at least most of the time. No one’s life is perfect but we all have the power to make our lives better.

A lot of this power of change might very well include shifting your mental energy to better things and/or things you can actually change. So fair warning: this isn’t some magical or easy answer to live your dream life. After all, if it were, I would have been doing so in my own life for a while now.

Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we’ll ever do.

-Brene Brown

The good news is that you can OWN your life and shape it to be something you actually enjoy living. Here I will share with you some things that I have personally learned in my pursuit to a better life for myself:

First of all, remember that you are worth this and you deserve a life you can enjoy living.

You are worth living a life you find satisfying and rewarding. It will take quite a bit of work, and a lot of mentality changes, but it is so very possible.

Realize that your idea of a life that’s satisfying and rewarding may be quite different than others’ idea of that life.

This is your life. It isn’t up to them how you live it. Don’t let others’ opinions poison your mind and make you doubt your abilities. You are powerful and a force to be reckoned with. You have so many more options open to you than you can even see right now. Open your mind to them. If other people don’t like it, then they can just deal with it or move on.

Think about what you really want out of life, either long-term or short-term, or even both.

What do you want your life to look like? What do you want your future to hold? Consider what your biggest dreams are right now. Don’t limit yourself to what you feel is possible for you right now. Like I mentioned above, there are so many more options available to you than you can see right now and you never know what you can accomplish until you set out to do it!

Weigh the pros and cons to your decisions. Can you really imagine living your life if you follow through with that decision?

Considering the good and the bad that could result from each decision you make. Is that decision really worth making when you consider the negatives that may come from it? Sometimes the positives actually outweigh the negatives or the sacrifice is worth what you get in return. Thinking in these terms for bigger decisions, and sometimes even smaller ones, can really make a difference. At the very least, it makes you think twice before taking a plunge.

Make goals that are actually reachable and allow you time to pursue them, and then craft a plan to meet the goal(s).

I wasn’t lying when I mentioned that you shouldn’t only consider possible for yourself. However, in order to pursue your goals, they still need to be realistic for you and your circumstances. You can make plans to make some goals fit into your life, while others may be a dream to hold off for another time. Think of the resources you have at your disposal right now or that you could possibly use. Wherever there’s a will, there’s a way!

Take action because none of this means much if you don’t actually take any action to achieve it.

Make plans and prepare, but also take action. All the preparation in the world will mean nothing if you don’t move forward with those plans. You may have to start before you’re ready and that’s okay. Some of it will have to be figured out as you go along because you can’t possibly see the whole path all at once.

Scale back on the negatives… Cut anything out of your life that sucks energy away from you or makes you miserable.

There is no space in your life for the negatives. Those people, tasks, or things in your life that suck energy away from you and leave you depleted… whatever you can let go of, do it! It’s not worth holding onto those things if they are keeping you from the life you want (and sometimes need) to live. Some of these things will be okay without you and some of them may not. However, your wellbeing is more important than most of them if you truly consider it. I’m not saying chuck important things from your life, by any means, but dispose of anything that you can that causes you misery.

Grow the positives- focus on any and all positives.

Along the same lines as the point above, focus on any and all positives and elaborate on them. Make those positives the center of your life and your life will begin to take shape around them as if they are the most important thing. It takes time but it certainly helps!

I wish to live a life that causes my soul to dance inside my body.

-Dele Olanubi

So I ask you, what do you really want from your life? Do you think it’s possible?

~Bonnie~